Mother's Day Successes - Motherhood Tips & Tricks That Work

“By developing a mother heart, each girl and woman prepares for her divine, eternal mission of motherhood. …In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life…Covenant-keeping women with mother hearts know that whether motherhood comes early or late; whether they are blessed with a “quiver full” of children here in mortality or not; whether they are single, married, or left to carry the responsibility of parenthood alone—in holy temples they are “endowed with power from on high”, and with that endowment they received the promised blessings and are “persuaded of them, and embraced them”.

Every girl and woman who makes and keeps sacred covenants can have a mother heart. There is no limit to what a woman with a mother heart can accomplish. Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially throughout the eternities. How grateful I am to the Lord for trusting women with the divine mission of motherhood.”   Julie B. Beck, “A Mother Heart”, General Conference, April 2004

Mothering Children of All Ages ... at the Same Time

Janet T.

The Challenge: Mother’s Day feels like a breakfast or a card is supposed to be a fair payment for all the work and pain of a year of mothering. Then we have to tell the children how this makes it all worthwhile. It’s hypocrisy!

My Success: Mother’s Day should be about God’s appreciation for our sacrifice. Who cares what the kids do or if they say thanks, when God gets tears in his eyes as he thinks of those who mother. Mother’s Day is really about a commemoration of being a partners and co-creators with God in bringing about His eternal plan.

Whitney N.

The Challenge: Family/Personal Interviews

My Success: Every fast Sunday for the last few months we call our kids in individually and interview them. They are getting better at communicating with us and asking questions that they may not have before.

Gisele M.

The Challenge: Mothering children, helping to strengthen their own testimony like my own mother did mine.

My Success: Prayer is a big part of my life. I learned it from my mother. People all over the town would call my mom and ask her to pray for them because they knew heaven would hear and answer her prayers. The prayer roll is a big part of my life and my own personal prayers. My son will often ask me to pray for him or someone at his work or his friends will say have your mom pray for me because we know Heavenly Father answers your mom’s prayers. I call names into the prayer roll that need it. 763-8269 is the temple prayer roll. I have people call me all the time and say please call the prayer roll for me.

Steffanie G.

The Challenge: Teaching my children to cook and eat different foods!

My Success: When I am making dinner, I like to have my kids help me. I take them to the market with me and they help me by different foods and help in the preparation as well!

Sarah H.

The Challenge: Putting together a successful family home evening for children who are a wide span of ages: 1-14 years old.

My Success: Using the Mormon Channel to watch 1 or 2 Mormon Messages with our iPad watching on our TV. Each one is short and discussion about the topic follows naturally.

Amy R.

The Challenge: Teaching children principles of provident living.

My Success: My kids garden and do canning with me so they all know how! However, I think my most important success has been that I have taught them to smile.

Emily T.

The Challenge: My eight-year-old starting to have an attitude and not thinking we (Bill and I) know anything. It’s hard!

My Success: Making it out alive and semi-sane after twins! It was the hardest 2 years of my life but we are making it!

Amy S.

My children love General Conference. I don’t know exactly how it happened or how much I contributed to their love or not, but I’ll take whatever credit I can. JI’m so glad they love listening to prophets and apostles. Also, 3 of my 4 children finally love broccoli. I am awesome! J

[Editor’s Note: Upon cross-examination, Amy admits she may have done something to contribute to both of these encouraging results. They play General Conference Bingo: bowls of small treats (goldfish crackers, m&m’s, etc) and every time certain words are said by speakers (temple, faith, …) everyone gets to add to their bingo card. And the kids’ favorite recipe for broccoli is to steam in the microwave and add some lemon juice. Don’t let it overcook and get wilty with that mucky green color!]

Melissa B.

The Challenge: How to encourage my kids to do things I want them to do without nagging them all the time. (all ages)

My Success: I tell my husband about something that the child did when I know that the child can hear me but I act like I am just talking to Matt. I try to emphasize how GREAT the thing is and how HAPPY I am that they did it.

Alisa J.

The Challenge: Having dinner as a family. Having scripture study.

My Success: Having any dinners together as a family. Having enough strength to cook the dinner no matter if they eat it or not. We had family scripture reading without someone hitting anyone on the head with a Book of Mormon.

Mothering Children Not - technically - Our Own

church callings, siblings, extended-family and neighborhood/friend relationships…

Tiffany W.

The Challenge: I was an aunt (I like to think their favorite) a long time before I had a child of my own—about 13 years. A challenge is how to remain a constant and consistent part of my niece and nephews’ lives and continue our close relationships when I can't necessarily be there (games, concerts, etc) as often as I used to be at everything they're doing.

My Success: Do things to recognize what's going on in their lives, even though I may not be able to physically be there (i.e. send a note, phone call). We'll have "Breakfast at Tiffany's" on their birthday where they come and eat at my house for breakfast on/near their birthday. I always try to make it to the big things (end of year concert, game, whatever the big thing is). Always tell them I love them every chance I get.

Shanae N.

The Challenge: Having energy to play with children.

My Success: Loving them and being willing to listen to their stories.

[Editor’s Note: Shanae is Really Good at this with the neighbor kids. My kids love to go to her house and talk to her!]

Cheryl N.

The Challenge: Nurturing testimonies in a non-church setting.

My Success: I share my testimony and commitment to the Lord DAILY at school as I help my 32 (!!) 8 and 9-year-olds learn good social behavior and conscience. I give them a platform (show & tell) to share special experiences—baptisms, communions, religious holidays (Ramadan), births, deaths, helping others, encouraging others. We discuss following our “inner voice” (works for all religions) when faced with choices. If needed, I comfort (though not overboard) I shed tears with them. I apologize when needed and ignore rude comments when needed.

Rochelle S.

I guess my success in having a mother heart would relate to extended family and being a part of a step family. I come from a divorced home where I grew up not knowing my dad at all. I was 2 when my parents got divorced. Long story short, my stepmother did not want my father to have anything to do with me so my brothers would visit and stay with him on a regular basis, but not me. So I grew up not having a relationship with my dad. When my HALF brother moved to Johannesburg where I lived and worked as a young single adult I reached out to him, and would invite him over for dinner and pack a lunch for him regularly for work. My stepmother realized the kindness shown toward her son, and her heart softened toward me. She invited me for dinner to their home and I even went on a vacation with my dad, stepmom and half-brothers. Last year when my kids and I went back to South Africa for the summer, my dad and his wife spoiled us a lot and invited us to stay for a week at their home. It was the first time that I had ever stayed at my dad’s home. Now we have a good relationship with each other. We call one another on a regular basis and they always send my kids a package for their birthdays.

Growing up with this kind of perspective, it made me understand how important fathers are. I also understood that divorce sucks! It is hard to be caught in the middle of two divorced parents. With Bob’s kids, I have reached out to them in acts of service. I also try to remember the details which men (Bob) forget… like their favorite food, things they don’t like eating, where they like to go, what they like to do, favorite color, etc… This has helped them know that I care. I also try and maintain a good relationship with Bob’s ex-wife. It allows the children to feel that they can have us all together at a family event without it being awkward. My conclusion is SERVICE = LOVE. Our love for the people we serve “grows” when we serve them.

Surviving Heartbreak

infertility, miscarriage, loss of all kinds, grieving…

Lynette A.

I only had one son, and after a long illness he died at age 42. One of his favorite treats at Easter was corn flake nests—David died right before Easter—and that year it was difficult for me, and I didn’t want to make the treats because of my pain. However, I did make them and have continued as a tradition every year.

Holly M.

Infertility—As a young married woman I fully expected to have a home full of children, but the Lord had another plan. Years passed with no children, and I became very discouraged and depressed. As a couple, Dan and I had prayed, gone to the temple, received blessings. We both had been promised children in multiple blessings, and I found it very hard to understand why my prayers weren’t being answered in the time and way that I wanted. Then my father became critically ill. He received a blessing that he would be healed. I remember telling the Lord that I would trust in that blessing, and the Spirit gently taught me: “If you can trust in the blessing your father received, why can you not trust in the many blessings that you have received.” From that moment on, I felt healed. My anguish dispersed and my heart filled with peace and trust. I was able to see that many of the great women mentioned in the scriptures knew my pain and desire. I felt part of a great sisterhood, and I found myself able to reach out to others who were feeling the same pain. My ability to love and serve had increased. This trial became a treasure and a pivotal part in my foundation of faith.

Sharon H.

I was told by the doctors that my three little boys had muscular dystrophy and would follow the same fate my oldest had so the thought came to me why are half my children going to die. Some days I don’t feel success, but I put my problems on the back burner and remember that you have to be tough enough to chew razors and spit nails to make it through the really tough times.

Robby B.

The Challenge: Overcoming three ectopics and reality of no further children.

My Success: The strength of my youngest and a dear friend’s child.

Amy Ne.

[Editor’s Note: Amy was out of town when her aunt, who was visiting to care for the children, wrote this about her.]

Nine years ago my niece Amy started on the road of adopting her children. She has always been positive about this experience. She shares this experience with ALL her extended family. I know how far-reaching her example has been: my daughter Bridgett learned a year ago that she can’t have her own children. This was NOT devastating news to her because Amy paved a path for her to follow. In one month, Bridgett will become a mom thanks to adoption. Amy has played a major part in our testimony of adoption—we love Amy!!

Trina S.

The Challenge: I have to say learning to be a mom. I did not have a great mother to teach me to be a nurturing, patient mother. My mother’s challenge with alcohol addiction left me sister and me pushed off on family members to be raised without her in our life.

My Success: Being married 25 years to my high school sweetheart, raising 4 children even after difficult pregnancies with all four. Giving my family the security of the gospel in our home that I wasn’t able to have as a child.

Luone I.

Between my 2 girls, and after my son, I experienced miscarriages. It was not easy for us to get pregnant, so these were hard losses. However, around the time each of those babies would have been born, we suffered the loss of a parent. First, within a week of when the baby was due, we welcomed into our home my father-in-law who had recently been diagnosed with multiple cancers and would require round the clock care. Around the time of his funeral I discovered I was expecting again. It was like Heavenly Father was telling me how much He loved me and that He knew the larger picture, and now I could have her. After we lost the 2^nd baby, I lost my mother. My husband and I joked (with our own dark humor) that we didn’t dare get pregnant again in case we lost it—we’d lose another parent. A year and a half after the loss of my mother, I lost my husband. Again, I felt the love of my Heavenly Father, who knew I would have to support my family, and how much harder that might have been with an infant. I feel so blessed to have the children that I do, and am so grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me and that He knows the end from the beginning, even though it’s hard to go through some of the trials that help us grow and reach, hopefully, our own divine potential.

Martha M.

The Challenge: When I was told I could not have any more children, I was heartbroken. As people found out I had only two children, I felt as if they were wondering if I was selfish or not committed to the gospel. It always felt uncomfortable when anyone asked how many children I had.

My Success: Over time and through MANY prayers, I was told that my body had fulfilled the measure of its creation. Though it would not give birth to any more children, I could mother any children that come into my life as they may need nurturing. I have now felt like a mother to many more children than, even if it was healthy, my body could have given me.

Providing for Infants and Pre-school Children

pregnancy, combating mommy mush brain, toileting…

Janet S.

The Challenge: Not feeling tired with newborns from sleepless nights, nursing, or sick toddlers.

My Success: I followed the advice of a friend who said, “Don’t look at the clock in the night when you keep getting up, and then you won’t know how much sleep you lost.” It works and you are not as tired.

[Editor’s Note: Janet, being the mother of 2 sets of twins, is perhaps the ward’s leading expert on “feeling tired with newborns”.]

Rosemary S.

The Challenge: Getting my children to do what I wanted. J (1) Getting reluctant 2-year-old into the tub. (2) Getting reluctant 2-year-old to go potty.

My Success: (1) Played hide and seek—I hid in the tub with shower closed. He was so excited to find me, he hopped in the tub. I quick undressed him and turned on the water. (2) Blew up a balloon to give him when he performed.

Christine A.

The Challenge: (1) Lots of driving time with little kids. (2) Kids get sick of eating dinners I make.

My Success: (1) Instead of turning on the radio, I started to sing hymns over and over instead. So I sang “Dearest Children, God is Near You”. I must have sung that song hundreds of times. After a few days my 1 and 3 year olds started singing along. I did it to help them relax and to fill the time with something edifying, but I realized the words were therapy for me too. “He will bless you if you put your trust in Him.” (2) I make “snack dinners” once in a while. Simple stuff like apples, cheese, toast, etc that the kids all LOVE. They celebrate every time we have a snack dinner.

Savannah D.

The Challenge: Being a mom of a 1 & 3 year old, I feel like I have had many challenges and I still am trying to figure out how to succeed. J But one of the biggest challenges was potty training, probably doesn’t seem like a big deal but when I see the poop face and then we are late making it to the toilet, I feel like I’m going to lose it!!

My Success: For the most part we are done, but I have found it helpful when we do have accidents to bite my tongue as hard as I can Jand then sing a primary song to bring me back to who I really am.

Sally J.

The Challenge: One of my children, when he was 4 years old, was so shy he wouldn’t speak to anyone.

My Success: I took him to a park near our home (large man-made lake surrounded by a busy walking path). I told him I would give him a dime for every person he said hi to. We walked hand in hand once around the lake and he said hi the whole way! He was much better about speaking in public after that.

Nurturing Children Ages 5-11

school challenges, bullying, maturation, sibling interactions...

Dana P.

I’ve been working on praying with my children (on an individual basis) at bedtime every night… continually teaching them that they can pray to Heavenly Father: whenever, wherever! It’s made our home more peaceful. J

Gayla M.

The Challenge: (1) Spelling their name, learning their phone number. (2) Get involved in scriptures.

My Success: (1) I had the idea to put our last name to a song since it’s hard for them to learn to spell—Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. (2) Fridays are scripture share days so we can share the things we are learning during personal scripture study and how it affects their life.

Kristi A.

The Challenge: I had a newborn, worked as an RN/fitness instructor/personal trainer/ personal chef at the SAME time of selling a home (down-sizing), and launching a new company. I know that working full time/overtime was HEART wrenching and the feelings of guilt overcame my soul! An extremely challenging time. (2009-2012)

My Success: I have CHOSEN to constantly and consistently keep my heart optimistic with a good attitude about working full time. I have found that quality time over quantity has been the theme to my life! Moments/experiences are priceless to me. The greatest part about all of this is there is love, dedication, and excitement in my family. I can’t even express how grateful I am for a scenario that would have feel “horrible” in my youth—but the world GRATEFUL is plastered in my heart! I am so grateful for my job, my husband, my boys, my home, and the motherhood that I get to exercise. I know this is all because of my choice! When you communicate your choice and gratitude of your scenario, HE will make all the “stuff” happen according to the desires and needs of your heart. I have seemed to develop and create more cherished “moments” with my husband and boys than ever imagined. I HAVE NOT let guilt get to me! Not necessary.

Ashley P.

The Challenge: Helping your children understand to ask Heavenly Father for help and knowing he is there to comfort us.

My Success: My 6-year-old came to me the other day and said, “Mom, I did what you told me. When I couldn’t find what I was looking for, I asked Heavenly Father to help me find it and he did!!” That made me so happy to see that had sunk in and she had experienced that and was so excited about it!

Emily T.

The Challenge: Child clashing with school teacher.

My Success: I asked him what we should do about it and the child responded he had been praying about it.

Shanel W.

The Challenge: 6-year-old who cries and throws a tantrum EVERY week that he doesn’t want to go to church.

My Success: My husband and I decided on a plan. On Mother’s Day morning when he began his regular tantrum, I told him that as my Mother’s Day gift to him, he did not have to go to church. He played happily while the rest of the family got ready. Just before leaving, I gave him instructions not to leave the house since no one should know he was home alone and the police may even pick him up if they found out he was alone. Then everyone piled into the car. Only then did he say, “Wait! Isn’t anyone going to stay home with me?!” I said no, that we all wanted to go to church. He immediately jumped into the car—pajamas on, bedhead—and said, “Take me with you!” I told him how sorry I was that he couldn’t come now. J Finally, according to plan, the family left but Dan stayed behind. He waited outside for a little while (for effect), then went in, helped him dress, and let the child talk him into taking him to church.

Melissa S.

The Challenge: having patience with small children who seem to tease each other VERY often.

My Success: Two children who are intelligent and well-mannered most of the time.

Jami E.

The Challenge: Getting my sons to do their morning chores when they started kindergarten.

My Success: Boys are ruled by their stomachs, so we told them they could not eat breakfast until their chore was done. It was only one time that they went to school without breakfast!

[Editor’s Note: Jami’s husband thought she should tell us about her great success with one of her young sons when he was unable to learn to speak. Jami worked with him every night for several years, guiding him through exercises that helped him build jaw strength. He now speaks with no problems at all. Jami thought this should not count as a success because he had also helped with the exercises. The reader can decide whether or not Jami could claim this as a success.]

Tara B.

The Challenge: Helping/making young kids commit to doing what they say they will and holding them responsible.

My Success: We try once a month to sit down with the 2 older kids (8 & 4) and go over problems, concerns, etc that they have (and that we might have) and write down what we want each to commit to do to resolve the problem. [eg—“Chase, I want you to work on putting your clothes where they go when you take them off.: (Mom)  or “Mom, I want you to have me do a chore when I don’t listen instead of sending me to my room.” (Chase)] We list 2 things or so—per person—and then have everyone sign the bottom of the paper. The next time we do it, we go over the previous one and see how we have done. I was amazed at how well they actually remembered to do the things we talked about. If something didn’t get done, they help choose the consequence and they acknowledge that it was because they didn’t follow through.

Cherishing Junior High and High School Youth —Bless Their Hearts encouraging personal devotions, chastity…

Rosemary S.

The Challenge: Getting reluctant 16-18 year old to talk to me after a date when I was too tired to wait up.

My Success: Sleep in their bed—they had no choice but to wake me up and talk!

Dia B.

The Challenge: Having my home be a place where my teenage kids and their friends are comfortable being there.

My Success: My kids know I love them by the way I serve them—making breakfast every day and sending them off to school. I make myself available for my teenagers and am always willing to drive them and their friends wherever they need to go. Because of that, Kailey’s friends know me—I know them and they love coming over and hanging out here. I feed them when I can and they know they are always welcome. I believe in teaching by the spirit of the law and am not too rigid by the letter of the law. Kailey tells me everything going on in her life and we talk all the time about her friends, her school, etc. I will treasure this time always. It has been my favorite so far!

Laurie A.

The Challenge: Raising independent-minded teenagers who think they know it all (but don’t), without alienating them.

My Success: I am not a perfect example of knowing how to do this perfectly, but having 4 teenagers at one time, I’ve had lots of practice. My tips are: (1) Be willing to listen and withhold screaming, “How could you be so stupid!” at any hour of the night or day. (2) Ask the Lord for confidence as a parent. You have been placed in the role of parent and you mustbe the leader. (3) Set only the rules you and your spouse are 100% committed to enforcing. A few good rules are better than many that your kids know they can break.

Chao S.

The Challenge: Building a relationship with my kids.

My Success: Spend 15-20 minutes talking to them about their day and how things went during their day and if there is anything they want to talk about. If there’s silence, I start to tell them about my struggles as a teenager and my experiences as a teenager and that usually opens up something for conversation.

Mothering Young Single Adults

mission, college, moving out, spouse selection...

Shelly D.

The Challenge: Preparing kids for missions/college/living on their own. Loving them enough to say “You can do hard things! This life is tough but another journey awaits you.” I do too much for my kids, my husband is the opposite. Hopefully they’ve learned from both of us and can be successful! J

My Success: As I was driving my college-aged daughter back to her apartment she said “Mom, I don’t think I’ll ever move back home again. I don’t want you to be offended by that, I still love you guys but I feel like I want to live on my own.” My heart was crushed for a moment and then I realized I’ve raised an independent daughter, ready to take on this world! If my children can learn to contribute to society, learn to work and hopefully be a good example to others, I’m happy she wants to live on her own! JI thought my kids would say, “I miss your cooking, clean sheets, love, long talks—I never want to move out!” It’s just their season in life. When they become parents they will say thanks!

Pat J.

My former husband (Ezra) and I were called on a mission to Zimbabwe, Africa. Our youngest daughter was expecting in a high risk pregnancy and getting ready to deliver and then things were not going well. Many thought we should not go then. We opted to let the Lord take care of her. She has had 4 beautiful boys.

Megan D.

The Challenge: In one of the darkest times of my son’s life, he turned to me for comfort and strength. I couldn’t tell him what to do. I couldn’t solve his problems.

My Success: I turned this burden over to the Lord. On some days—most days at first—it was completely overwhelming. I would wake in the night completely consumed with anxiety and fear. On those nights, I literally dropped to the floor and prayed that Heavenly Father would calm my heart. He not only calmed my heart, but helped me to be the support and strength that my son needed. I know with a surety that Heavenly Father hears all mothers’ pleadings.

Being a Pleasant Mother-in-Law and Beneficial Grandmother the relationship shift, long-distance situations…

Pat H.

My kids and grandkids absolutely KNOW I love and cherish them—except for two of them—that’s why I don’t actually consider it a full success! I have a daughter who could be translated! (But she would be that way without me.)

Susan F.

The Challenge: Cleaning dishes!

My Success: I have one son who scrubs his dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, just like I do. He NEVER did this while he lived at home, but as soon as he moved out, he taught his wife how to do it “right”!

Lupe L.

The Challenge: Grandmothering

My Success: Attend all of their activities. For those away—facebook works some. Love watching them, especially Kailey and volleyball. Enjoy their enthusiasm and joy of life. Enjoy their friends—even have some of her friends be my friends on facebook. Sunday dinner—show interest in what they do and how they feel.

Karen M.

The Challenge: Being a good grandma long distance.

My Success: My mother started “The Happy Club” for our children when they were little. She gave each a shoe box with items that would help them remember her and talked to them about their meaning. This was the 1^st Happy Club meeting when we were visiting. After that she wrote letters, notes, sent treats, etc to her “club” members when they were far away. Guidelines for safety in their play and love in relationships were part of it.

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